The downside of anger

Before I had kids I used to look at parents getting mad at their kids in the supermarket, in the park or parking lot, wondering what on earth they were thinking. I just knew that I would never get that mad at my children. So what happened?

For the last few years I feel as if I have been angry, frustrated or irritaded all the time. Now, I know that isn't entirely true. Of course there are good days and we have some wonderful moments together, my children and I. But I know I have been angry so much more than I thought I would be. I have been so sad about that, and I have felt so much guilt. Another downside of anger is that it simply doesn't work. If anything it leads to more anger and becomes a downward spiral.

When I talked with a friend about it, she said that she felt the same way, until she realized that her children truly were a loan from Heavenly Father. That it wasn't her job to remold them into the shapes she wanted her children to have. She realized that her responsibility was rather to lead them by the hand and help make sure that their dreams and goals were taking them in the right direction. As the husband of another dear friend reminded her: "We are not here to control our children but to guide them".

How much easier motherhood becomes, when you start looking at it like that! I made a decision yesterday that I will change my behaviour around my children. I've made the same decision before, but I think I have forgotten where to turn for help. I love my children so much and my greatest wish is for them to be happy!